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We may then choose to journey either forwards, backwards or sideways, as it were." Sideways? You mean like to a parallel universe?" Crudely, yes. There is an almost infinite combination of reality states, each one slightly out of phase with the next. Under normal conditions we are totally unaware of their existence." OK then, Professor. What happens when you go back in time? Do you go to back to 'our' past or one of these alternates?" I'm sorry to admit that I really don't know, my boy. You see, I have done all the laboratory testing but, well, I haven't actually attempted a full voyage as yet." Whoa! Are you saying that you don't know if this thing works?" Of course not! It works but I haven't yet made the maiden voyage, that is all." Now hang on a minute. You're suggesting we climb into that thing, press the tit and hope for the best?" Crudely put, but essentially accurate."I was on the verge of backing out of this little game but he grabbed me and propelled towards the machine.. They were piled up next to a big, really ugly, scraggly, misshapen Christmas tree decorated with the tackiest ornaments imaginable.We had all put a tag with our name on the gift we brought, so everyone would know who brought it. We then put numbers on the gift packages and corresponding numbers in a hat. We had been drinking a lot of beer, wine and alcohol by this time and many of us were also very stoned. We would just start randomly chanting someone’s name who caught our eye, until they went up and drew a number out of the hat. Then they had to get that gift box and read who gave it before they opened it, while we all watched. We did this one person at a time and were laughing our asses off at what they got.When Katie got her gift, she opened it and we saw that it was a huge ‘Texas Condom’ and a huge adult diaper. We laughed so hard, but then Katie left the room and came back a few minutes later. She had cut holes out of the huge Texas Condom for her eyes, nose, and mouth, and had.
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